Friday, October 16, 2026

Standard School Broadcast—Our Nation's Heritage

Borne out of the very first instance of corporate reputation-washing, the Standard Oil-produced 20-LP series "Our Nation's Heritage", a progressive history of America that never quite made those Big Oil linens sparkle but left a whole lot of really fine playwrighting in its wake, is now up in full on Archive.org:

Vol. 01 Prologue to America
Vol. 02 The New World
Vol. 03 Exploring the New World
Vol. 04 Europe in the New World
Vol. 05 The English in America
Vol. 06 The Colonial Frontier
Vol. 07 The Revolutionary War
Vol. 08 Cornerstones of a New Nation
Vol. 09 The New Nation Is Launched
Vol. 10 The New Nation Is Tested
Vol. 11 The Nation Expands
Vol. 12 The Nation Divided
Vol. 13 Settling the West
Vol. 14 The Industrial Revolution in America
Vol. 15 America Becomes a World Power
Vol. 16 The Twentieth Century Begins
Vol. 17 The Nation in Prosperity and Poverty
Vol. 18 America in World War II
Vol. 19 America at Mid-Century
Vol. 20 America Through Five Centuries - Epilogue

If you were a teenager in California in the 1970s, your school library probably had a full set (mine was originally the property of John Burroughs Junior High School on the Miracle Mile!)

"Our Nation's Heritage" from the Standard School Broadcast is probably best-known today for being a major sample source for everyone's favorite "band" of goofball collage terrorists, Negativland. Like the band's oeuvre, the 40 radioplays on these 20 records are concerned with detouring around established historical narratives and thinking critically about what mass media is doing to all of us. If you own Negativland's 1989 album Helter Stupid, their stories-about-stories-about-stories meditation on hoaxes and the cannibalistic nature of the news, you'll remember this exchange:

ROBERT KENNEDY: No one, no matter where he lives or what he does, can be certain who next will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.
VOICE: Now that second one is really Robert Kennedy, right?
HISTORY: Wrong.
VOICE: Hm?
HISTORY: Neither of these is the real voice of anyone, and we must never believe that it is.
VOICE: Oh, but that was really Robert Kennedy!
HISTORY: They are both electronic images of the real voice preserved on magnetic tape. Just as we never see a dead body on television news. We must never believe that we do.

This and more was lifted from the last record in the "Our Nation's Heritage" series called "Epilogue", practically a Negativland record though it was made a decade before Negativland existed. It was an attempt on the part of series playwright Mariah Marvin to subvert the entire previous 19 volumes of the series, in a push for critical thinking about how we manufacture history as fanfic when nearly all of its narrative threads are missing (and what isn't missing you probably shouldn't believe).

Having listened to all 20 volumes, I can say unreservedly it was worth my time. On a couple of sides, a historical period is done entirely in musical song-and-dance, and maybe that faux '60s pop didn't age so well—but the history of the atomic 1950s done entirely in doo-wop absolutely kills. The story of the Continental Congress that stops midway to jump ahead to an alternate future where the states never united and the monarchy never died puts the pros and cons of that great series of compromises into much-needed perspective. Perspective is key—great empathy went into this writing, driven by a need whenever possible to tell history from the point of view of the powerless: the Chinese labor that build the railroads, the slaves that made the South wealthy, and in one episode Brown Bess, the British flintlock musket (she, along with a Charleville 1717 French army musket, narrate the story of the French & Indian war). The piece about Reconstruction will make your blood boil, the history of the Spanish-American war will relentlessly remind you of every American war of empire since, and the play about World War I—based on a real flier's unpublished diary—will break your heart.

What boggles the mind is that the Standard Oil Company of California—fucking Chevron!—bankrolled the whole thing. So how does something so good, so subversive, so driven to get inside the heads of the millions of people America stepped over to become a world power, come out of the maw of the poster child for corporate evil? Writer Grover Sales told the whole story in his article for the San Francisco Chronicle/Examiner in 1976.

Look What Patchin Started
By Grover Sales
San Francisco Sunday Examiner & Chronicle 10/17/1976 pp36-44

Who coined the term “public relations” and when may be an unsolvable mystery, but it must have been long after 1919, the year Standard Oil of California hired a bright young State Department official named Philip Patchin to sit behind a desk in their San Francisco office and dream up ways to “improve our image.”

How this candidate for the first corporate PR man went about this awesome feat is a little-known story with enormous consequences. The uneasy alliance of the multi-corporation, public education and the arts in America may have begun with Phil Patchin.

He had his work cut out for him. Standard Oil’s “image” could have stood improving since John D. Rockefeller first capitalized Standard Oil of Ohio at $1 million in 1870 by “ruthlessly crushing his less able opponents,” in the discreet words of the Columbia Encyclopedia. By 1892 the public clamor against giant monopolies had reached the ear of the judiciary, which directed Standard Oil to dissolve the Trust formed ten years earlier. This did not prevent Standard Oil of New Jersey from forming a holding company capitalized at $100 million. On the heels of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act and President Teddy Roosevelt’s noisy “trust-busting” campaigns, the Supreme Court in 1911 ordered the Trust dissolved, splitting off Standard of California from the parent company and directing it to confine its operations to the West. Despite old John D.’s far-flung philanthropies—$500 million to the Rockefeller Institute for Medical Research in 1901 and $183 million “to promote the well-being of Mankind” in 1913—there persisted in the public mind the image of Standard Oil as a giant octopus strangling free competition and acting in “restraint of trade,” all the more so after World War One, an era of disillusionment and debunking.

Standard Oil never kept extensive records of its entry into the PR field, and since most of those involved, like Patchin, have long since died, it’s uncertain what Patchin did to beautify their corporate image during his first seven years on the payroll, although he is remembered for lobbying for the removal of billboards that began to litter our highways in the early twenties. But in 1926 he came up with a left-field idea that justified anything the Company paid him. Patchin talked Standard’s top brass into clearing up the $10,000 deficit that threatened to put the San Francisco Symphony permanently out of business.

Like the Actor’s Workshop of yesteryear and the A.C.T. of today, the San Francisco Symphony of fifty years ago was forced to pass the tin cup to the tune of daily scare headlines of insolvency. When it became obvious that a widely trumpeted public subscription drive was not going to get the Symphony out of the hole, Standard Oil came through with the requisite ten grand on the last day of the campaign.

The idea was Patchin’s, but it needed—and received—the approval of Standard’s Chairman of the Board, Kenneth Kingsbury, whose high-born wife was a devout Symphony patron and said to be more than casually concerned in the decision-making process. Her son, R. Gwin Follis, who eventually became Chairman, recalls that covering this deficit was a risky business: “While Standard Oil was much in need of the community’s good will, and was aware of the Symphony’s plight, there was a serious moral question involved. Was it proper to give the stockholders’ money away to a Symphony instead of distributing it among the stockholders? This, you must remember, was before the New Deal, when neither the oil companies nor their stockholders paid any income tax to speak of, so Standard couldn’t use this donation as a tax write-off, which later became common practice of major corporations after Franklin Roosevelt. And $10,000 seemed an awful lot of money in 1926. But despite these apprehensions, and they were very real, my stepfather gave it the green light.”

A precedent had been established, and the involvement of large corporations with the American arts had begun.

So grateful were the San Francisco Symphony and its affable conductor, Alfred Hertz, that Standard Oil was offered, and accepted, the radio broadcast rights to the first network performance of a Symphony orchestra ever heard on the West Coast. On October 24, 1926, in the old Curran Theater on Ellis, the Sunday afternoon Symphony audience settled in its seats. Hertz raised his baton, after glancing nervously at three earphoned technicians hunched over boxes of electrical gadgets in the wings. At a signal from the chief engineer, he gave the first downbeat in an historic program that was serious American concert fare half a century ago, but today would qualify as Fiedler Pops: Egmont Overture, Beethoven; Suite for Orchestra, op.19, Dohnany; Waltzes, Brahms-Hertz; Petite Suite, Bizet; Dance Rhapsody, Delius; Tales from the Vienna Woods, J. Strauss.

The response was immediate and overwhelming. Editorials hailed the pioneering new venture. Hundreds of letters poured in from listeners, some in gratitude, many asking questions: “What is a podium? A scherzo? What’s the difference between a French and English horn?” The twin result was the Standard Hour, radio’s oldest continuing music program (1,456 broadcasts over nearly three decades) and its adjunct, the Standard School Broadcast, which became a weekly ritual for thousands of public school children from the mid-twenties to the late sixties. Designed to arm young pupils with information about the music they were about to hear on the Standard Hour, the School Broadcast in its early years met starchy opposition from school superintendents who suspected the Company of using classical music as a Trojan horse to sneak commercial advertising into the school system, an unshakable taboo of that day. By religiously shunning anything that could be called advertising or promotion on both the Standard Hour and the School Broadcast, the Company overcame the objections of the fussiest school principals and Boards of Education. When the project was launched in 1928, only seventy-two West Coast schools had radios, some the cat-whisker and crystal type. Within a year the number had increased to 500.

From the outset, Standard’s ad agency gravely warned, “there is no audience for symphony radio broadcasts,” so the ever-innovative Phil Patchin set up a department within the company to handle the new project himself. He appointed as Program Manager twenty-four year old Adrian Michaelis, scion of an old California-Spanish family and a piano student who had been working with Standard Oil since 1919 as a “hall-boy” (receptionist) for $64 a month. Michaelis quickly made the Standard Hour into a weekly habit of millions in an era when symphonic music was readily available through no other channel. American audiences got their first taste of Bach and Berlioz conducted by Artur Rodzinski, Otto Klemperer, Pierre Monteaux, Leopold Stokowski, Sir Thomas Beecham, Dimitri Mitropoulos, Georg Szell and William Steinberg. In 1943 the Hour won its first Peabody medal, the Academy Award of radio.

In 1944 Michaelis branched out from classical music to make “Afra-merican” jazz a part of the School Broadcast, an astonishing move at a time when jazz was as unthinkable a part of school curricula as a course in safe-cracking.

A veteran jazz buff who bought 1917 Victors of The Original Dixieland Jazz Band when they sold them across the counter, Michaelis recorded Louis Armstrong, Leadbelly, Kid Ory, Jack Teagarden and Earl “Fatha” Hines and beamed their music over a West Coast network of eighteen NBC stations to 20,000 educators and half a million students.

Michaelis, who retired in 1966 and now lives in Oakland, remembers the day “a plain-talking jazz fan named Bill Colburn walked into my office and laid it on the line that our approach to jazz was much too stuffy: ‘Look, it just doesn’t make it to have some angelic choir girl ask Leadbelly, “please, sir, would you play one of your famous Negro spirituals for us before we have to go back to the classroom.”‘“

In 1945, with the help of Chronicle music critic Alfred Frankenstein, Solburn and Michaelis put together a booklet explaining why jazz was unique and justifying its inclusion in the School Broadcast in anticipation of an outcry from parents and School Board squares.

“We got a bit of complaining mail,” says Michaelis, “but I wrote every one of those parents that they should understand what their children were into—it’s very much like the Rock situation of today.” The jazz series was welcomed as a godsend by the tight little fraternity of jazz critics who were amazed to find a serious and authentic approach to this music on the airways. Esquire’s reviewer wrote: “These programs...present the first radio-sponsored attempt to grant jazz a serious place in the musical world.” James Higgins in Mademoiselle called it “the highest point of intelligence that jazz has reached on radio.”

In 1955, after twenty-nine years, The Standard Hour was done in by television, FM, the LP and the growing hi-fi industry. It was no longer unique to hear classical music on the air. Three years earlier, Standard abandoned a half hour television version of the Hour after thirteen weeks “when the high costs and limited audience in the West made continuation impractical.” Still, this was the first West Coast TV series, claims Michaelis, to use a symphony orchestra, ballet corps, famous soloists, full-scale stage settings and state-of-the-art audio-visual, including the first use of the zoom lens on TV.

*

Though television put the Standard Hour out of business, the newly-christened Chevron School Broadcast pushed on to even more adventuresome frontiers in 1970 with a twenty LP American History series that drew grudging praise from cynical observers who expected anything subsidized by Standard Oil to be slightly to the right of the Emperor Diocletian. Highlights of these surprising dramatizations of the nation’s past were played over KPFA by Herbert Kohl, co-founder of the Center for Open Learning and Teaching college in Berkeley that trains teachers to avoid audio-visual aids like the plague—except for the Chevron Series. Kohl defied the radical, Third World audience of KPFA to identify the sponsors of this series after he aired “America Becomes a World Power,” an unvarnished look at our role in the Philippines and the Spanish-American War that makes the most of some startling parallels to Vietnam. The Immigration Waves, Winning of the West, and the Depression are all presented with a refreshing lack of super-patriotic gloss that would have made the series and its makers more than suspect during the Joe McCarthy era.

Flawlessly turned out, the History Series is an impressive wedding of Mariah Marvin’s painstaking scripts with appropriate music, sound effects and the cream of local radio and stage talent: Ray Reinhardt, Winifred Mann, Scott Hylands, Ken Ruta, Scott Beach, William Paterson, Christopher Brooks, Fay De Witt, Mark Bramhall, Joe Miksak, Maurice Argent and Jerry Walter.

Even more ambitious is the Music Makers Series that followed in 1973, a six LP package devoted to the Keyboard, Strings, Brass, Reeds, Percussion and the Guitar. Taking a cue from Toscanini’s famous dictum that there are only two kinds of music—good and bad, Chevron includes musicians of every persuasion: Classical, jazz, rock, country, even street musicians. Their comments, both verbal and musical, are frank, funny, poignant, and strictly non-academic. The series would be a credit to the most discriminating collection, being handsomely produced with impeccable hi-fi, voluminous notes, photos, and art work by Maya Cain that deserves to be framed and hung. The artists, who have all been encouraged to talk about their childhood and how they got started in music, include Janos Starker, Ray Brown, Paul Badura-Skoda, Earl “Fatha” Hines, Philippe Entremont, Stan Getz, Margaret Fabrizio, Herb Ellis and Joe Pass, Jean-Pierre Rampal, Louis Bellson, George Shearing, Denny Zeitlin, Andre Watts and Dizzy Gillespie.

This year Chevron introduced “Musical Visions of America,” four multi-media kits for classroom use, with color film strips, cassettes and hefty teachers’ manuals that trace the history of American sounds—classical, ragtime, folk, jazz, blues, rock, country and musical comedy.

The brains behind “Musical Visions” as well as the History and Music Makers Series is Edward Franklin, a soft-spoken, graceful scholar who wrote It’s Cold in Pongo-Ni, a 1965 anti-war novel of the Korean conflict. Franklin was working as a writer for U.C. Berkeley, grinding out articles for their centennial celebration, while moonlighting as script writer for the School Broadcast: “I was on the verge of quitting Berkeley because they were about to assign me to a terrible job—writing speeches for Clark Kerr. Chevron lured me away in 1966 with deviled crab lunches at Sam’s on Bush Street, and $300 more a month than I was making at Cal. By 1970 Chevron gave me carte blanche with the History and later, the Music Makers Series. The amazing thing is that, in this day and age, Chevron has a section in their organization to produce these school series, and they don’t interfere with the content...well, hardly ever. They realize that teachers won’t use materials that are obvious, slanted corporate propaganda; Ralph Nader has blown the whistle on a lot of large conglomerates that supplied public schools with maps, charts and educational aids riddled with corporate bull, so a lot of teachers are on the lookout.

“At first I was commuting to Hollywood to make the records, but once I was given total control I moved the production center to San Francisco because there’s such a wealth of talent here in A.C.T., the Berkeley Rep and the Magic Theater. You couldn’t find more versatile or gifted actors than Winifred Mann or Ray Reinhardt anywhere. And I found to my surprise that Coast Recorders in San Francisco had better facilities and certainly more dedicated and cooperative studio engineers than Hollywood. In the last six years we’ve employed over 200 actors and musicians who live in the Bay Area. Right now, the History and the Music Makers Series aren’t available to the general public, but I would like to see some of this invaluable recorded material like the music interviews reach the widest possible audience. Since 1975 we’ve had publishers bidding on our Series for national release.”

This year Bowmar Books of Los Angeles, a subsidiary of the London Times, bought the tape cassette rights to the History Series to distribute to public schools nationally, and the sale of the Music Makers Series may be in the works. Under a most unusual agreement, all of Chevron’s royalties will be split fifty-fifty between the Company and the artists. Bowmar Books plans to gross $10 million from the History Series alone.

When the first advance check from Bowmar arrived at Chevron’s office on Bush Street, a blown up xerox copy was presented in a surprise ceremony to Ed Franklin’s boss, PR Manager Walt Morris: “You’re the first PR man in the history of Standard Oil who ever made one damn red cent for the Company!”

Wednesday, June 24, 2026

Mammyjammer Players - Etc. Etc. Etc. (MOTHER FUKERS In Concert)

 





A buddy spotted this on the Dusty Groove website. It's not on Discogs. I bought it. It's 35 minutes long: 105 different blackout comedy skits ranging from 5 to 70 seconds each. A few items earn a surreal chuckle, but most of it's just tedious. There are a few men's voices, one British, and a couple women's voices.  It has no copyright or publishing data and it's completely un-Google-able.

On eBay I see a version of this record for sale that has a simple black & white cover; the artists seem to be the Mammyjammer Players, the title "Etc. Etc. Etc." A later version, the one I bought, has an additional red ink layer on the cover obverse/reverse saying "MOTHER FUKERS In Concert". The record label is Mother Records ("Swingin' Mother", according to the front cover), and I know it dates after August 1965 because it references that year's Watts riots. It's basically a party record, but although it includes a few off-color jokes, there's nothing obscene or even blue in the content, which makes the addendum of the "MOTHER FUKERS In Concert" logo an odd choice.

I don't know what "A Marco Production" could mean. The only useful clue is the address on the label, 2534 W. Pico Blvd. in the Pico-Union area of L.A., which in the late 1960s was Nozawa Trading: dealers in martial arts paraphernalia and seller of a fully automatic rice cooker which they advertised nationally in '66 and '67. 

Audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.  

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Nichols & May: Monitor Radio 1962-1967

 

If you're a comedy head, you like Nichols and May, because they didn't do comedy sketches so much as character-based improvised riffs with a button on the end: hilarious little scherzos whose conversational tone make them some of the only comedy that still works 60+ years after it was made. 

WFMU recently hipped me to MonitorBeacon.net, a tribute site for NBC's Monitor Radio, the network's news magazine that ran from 1955-1975 and for whom Nichols and May had a long-running gig making comedy bits—including all the material that became their third album Nichols and May Examine Doctors. 

MonitorRadio.net is basically a three-man operation, whose moderators have been amassing old Monitor airchecks for over 20 years as a labor of love. Their archival recordings come to them from a variety of home-taping saviors, including a guy named Warren who recorded Monitor with a microphone next to a radio in his home in Queens, and whose estate of recordings was delivered to the webmasters in two refrigerator-size boxes. As of 6/12/2024 the team has rescued 740 hours of Monitor, and they suspect at least as many hours remain to be digitized.

All the site's audio is available free for listening and accompanied by a thumbnail description of the contents, so of course I immediately downloaded every show with a Nichols and May bit, then separated out the bits and did some minor restoration of clicks/pops/hum. None of the pieces had a title (except "Mr. and Mrs. Style"), so I've provided them. They're mostly in chronological order, although I did move a telephone-operator bit to the top and close with a doctor-and-nurse bit, because, I mean, it's a Nichols and May joint.

The idea of a new Nichols and May album is already catnip to me, but this is practically a double: 40 pieces that range from 90 seconds to 4 minutes in one 93-minute bucket. There's a lot of brilliant stuff here, but to my mind, "Some Seculuded Rendezvous", "Madame Pinocchio", "Joint Custody", "We Welcome Your Comments", "Get the Glass Heels", and "Arthur" are as good as anything they ever released on vinyl. Enjoy!

Answering Service (2/13/1966)
Embassy Party (10/7/1962)
Tallest Man in the World (9/26/1964)
Rigby and Madame (2/27/1965)
Teeth (7/10/1965)
Mr. and Mrs. Style (11/14/1965)
I Want a Divorce (12/25/1965)
Holiday in Brooklyn (1/1/1966)
Some Secluded Rendezvous (1/2/1966)
Madame Pinocchio (1/29/1966)
The Washingtons at Home (2/5/1966)
Tattoo Parlor (2/6/1966)
Fat Face (3/19/1966)
Expecting (3/20/1966)
Diet (4/23/1966)
Hollywood Notes (5/1/1966)
The Talk (7/10/1966)
Breakfasty-Poo (9/18/1966)
The Martian (9/24/1966)
We Welcome Your Comments (9/25/1966)
End of the World (9/25/1966)
That Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi (10/9/1966)
Mrs. Claus' Day (12/17/1966)
Christmas Card (12/24/1966)
She's Coming Home (12/25/1966)
Arthur (12/31/1966)
The Painter (5/14/1967)
Nymph and Satyr (5/20/1967)
Joint Custody (6/3/1967)
Under Arrest (6/4/1967)
Checkbook (6/11/1967)
Get the Glass Heels (6/11/1967)
Flaps Up (6/17/1967)
Transference (6/24/1967)
Businessmen's Lunch (7/8/1967)
In the Balcony (7/15/1967)
Wrong Number (7/15/1967)
Crossing the Street (7/22/1967)
Calling Mrs. Fweem (8/19/1967)
Don't Take That Tone (4/3/1966)


Album download link

Saturday, September 27, 2025

Unknown Artist: Smokey the Fire Engine

 



I bought this last month at Portland's legendary Memory Den. It's part mall, part thrift store, part Kowloon Walled City. If you visit, say hi to their ghosts.

As someone who produces reissues (and posts blog entries that gleam with the same cleaned-up audio and historical exegesis as a reissue, but in a context that won't make anybody a dime), I am driven as much by curiosity and craving for accomplishment as I am by naked compulsion. So the cover of this album has a certain...resonance. I may look like I'm winding up all these toys you're reading about, but something wound me up first.

And, given that every el cheapo children's record is a tiny gamble that usually pays off with one good track, this surely delivered. The last cut, "Night Time", is so sickly-sweet creepy that if publishing and copyright information existed, every ghost story film director in the world would be lining up to put it in their trailer. 

That is, "if". Why, I wondered, is there no circle-P, no circle-C, no credit of any kind to be found on this package? Who wrote these songs? Who performed them? Who is the "H. Wilbur" assigned authorship of the back cover blurb? 

I'm fully aware that the Children's record industry of the 1950s/1960s/1970s was not exempt from the bottom-feeding prerogatives that ruled the rest of the entertainment industry. Firesign Theatre, who never back-announced anything they played in their 1970s radio shows, spun a children's record once with the refrain "I'd like to do a lot of things, I don't care which / As long as it's something that makes me rich." It's a real face-palmer, and I scoured the bins at the Pasadena City College swap meet for a year until I found its source: Daydreaming for Children from Golden Records, an LP of kids singing about what they want to be when they grow up. I was feeling proud of myself for finding such a unique artifact until I looked at the back cover with its little grid of "also available" LP thumbnails, and saw there was another Golden Records album called When I Grow Up I Want To Be A... These albums had many similar tracks. In fact they were all similar. In fact they were the same album, first released in 1966, then reissued under a new name in 1969. 

"Exploitation" is a broad category, but no matter the genre, taking advantage of the public is much easier when your audience isn't too discerning. Cheap and sensational movies that come back again and again under different titles have been a thing since the 1930s. The 15- to 25-year-old demographic that made I Was a Teenage Werewolf one of the highest-grossing films of 1957 were not letting critical thinking steer Daddy's car to the drive-in. Entertainment marketed to the very young is probably the most critic-proof category of all. Everything's new and exciting to a toddler, and Mommy, who bought the record, is never going to listen to it anyway.

Monrovia, California Daily News-Post 3/12/1964, pg. 20

Given all that, this album's parent label—Carousel Records—took this game to a whole new level, because they weren't just Carousel Records. They were also Playtime Records. They both shared a PO box in Lawndale, California. They both put a blurb on the back of every record they released listing the same litany of virtues to ensnare the parents, with near-identical phrasing ("It makes them feel good inside"..."a sweet happy feeling"..."produced by talented artists"..."recorded on the finest equipment"..."durability even under the sometimes not-too-careful handling of their young owners"). The Playtime blurbs are signed by "Harriet Smith", and the Carousel blurbs are signed by "H. Wilbur". They are who exactly? What difference does it make when their names are so wholesome. 

The best part is that, although we don't know how the Playtime masters were produced, all that was required to make the Carousel masters was the Playtime masters and a razor blade. Playtime released 18 records between 1960 and 1962. The first six titles dropped in 1960. The next twelve arrived in 1962.


Meanwhile, Carousel released 12 of its own titles in 1962. That year, amongst the product of the two labels, 76 pairs of songs match. That is to say, some guy (and this MUST have been a guy, picture him with me: white short-sleeved shirt, burned from golfing without his sunscreen, crewcut, pack of Chesterfields, black fan bolted to the ceiling of his 125-square-foot office in the back of his brother-in-law's typewriter repair place at the corner of Manhattan Beach and Hawthorne Blvd.)—some guy, I say, was selling largely the same material on two of his own kiddie record imprints at the same time in 1962.


One way he helped obfuscate the fact that all these phonographic children came from the same father was by giving each label its own distinct brief for the art direction. The Playtime records are all mid-century cartoon covers, very UPA-influenced...


 ...while the Carousel records have more traditional kidlit illustration designs...


...all of which helps distract Mommy from the fact that Playtime's Come Join the Parade and Carousel's Let's Go Marching, which are next to each other in the bin at Penney's, are the SAME FUCKING RECORD with the tracks in a different order. And why not? Even if little Billy knew what the Better Business Bureau was, he can't dial the phone by himself.

 

Miami Herald, 6/30/1963 pg. 5F
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, because that little shotgun office with the black fan and Pismo Beach ashtray might also have been world headquarters of...Merry-Go-Round Records. Merry-Go-Round...? Carousel...? Just hit me with a brick. Merry-Go-Round Records, likewise a purveyor of kiddie fare, issued ten LPs between 1958-1959, the gimmick being that the titles ended with "In Hi-Fi". The address listed on the back of the LPs was "Los Angeles"—see, not Lawndale! He's off the hook! (Well...until the city of Lawndale was incorporated in December 1959, Lawndale WAS Los Angeles.) 

The Merry-Go-Round cover collection is a hoot; eight of the ten covers are built around photographs from a single anonymous stock photo session, in which a handful of kids were handed different costumes and different props and shuffled around a variety of sets. Two almost-identical photos of five kids with two wooden soldiers are used for two different LPs—one is flipped left-to-right for variety. 


The real tell-tale fingerprints in the pablum are that, among the 10 records from Merry-Go-Round, and the 18 records from Playtime, and the 12 records from Carousel, the same 44 songs appear in every label's product.


I mean, I get it--some production music shingle in the late '50s knocked out a couple hundred of these kids' songs, made them available to all comers under a blanket license, and sent them out into the world, where they reproduced. But why did our guy have to be quite such a schmuck? Let's call him "Jerry". "Jerry" seems right. Jerry, why did you have to be such a schmuck? Side one of Smokey the Fire Engine has two songs that were clearly RIPPED FROM VINYL, for crissakes. And I haven't bought a copy of Carousel's Let's Blast Off Into Space, but it includes the tracks "Foundini the Spaceman" parts 1 & 2, and there's a two-track Bunin Puppets record from 1949 on the Caravan label called Foodini's Trip to the Moon, and you know what, Jerry? 2 plus 2 equals you're a schmuck.

Tusla World, 2/19/1961, Downtown section pg. 20

Yes, I made a spreadsheet to take along on this fool's errand. (See below if you're curious about the names of the songs that got the most repeats.) Discogs pages for each of these labels were threadbare, so I fattened them up as best I could using articles from Newspapers.com and pictures from eBay auctions. There are three records on Carousel, Folk Songs for Little Folk, Sing Us a Song—Tell Us a Story, and Pied Piper, whose track names are unknown. And there's a record on Merry-Go-Round from 1959 that I know must exist, part number MGR-10009, but I can find no information on it whatsoever. 

And I don't know Jerry's real name. But let's all write to him at PO box 125, Lawndale, CA, tell him we're H. Wilbur, and say he owes us comp copies of every record. Come on, Jerry! They fill us with such a sweet happy feeling! 

Schmuck.

Audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work. 


 

Thursday, September 25, 2025

Roger Flax: Clyde & Phyllis—A Musical Fantasy About the World's First Guitar Playing Elephant

 



A guitar-playing elephant falls in love with an ant! But they can never marry! He'll crush her! He weighs too much, you see. I wonder if there's a place they could go where weight would not be a problem. Spoiler alert, don't look at the cover. 

A tiny rock opera from 1969, surprisingly catchy songs, and cute as hell. Music, arrangements, and lyrics are by Roger Flax, who penned two sunshine pop favorites for Society's Children in 1968. None of the cast is credited. The narrator sounds like Iggy Pop and I want him to be Iggy Pop so therefore I'm going to say he's Iggy Pop.

Hello My Name Is Clyde
There Was a Zoo
The Sad Love Affair of Clyde & Phyllis
Poor Old Clyde
I'm Off to Cape Kennedy
A Tune About the Moon
Wake Up Clyde! I've Got Good News
We'll Float in Space Together

Album audio & artwork 

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

 

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Harald Walter: Deutscher Humor

 






Q: Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?
A: Also dachte ich, hey, vielleicht liegt es an meiner Nadel.

Deutscher Humor
Aus de Schule Geplaudert
Über die Ehe
Missverstanden (Teil 1)
Missverstanden (Teil 2)
Die Freien Berufe
Die Polizei
Fremde Sprachen—Fremdes Denken
Höhere Mathematik
Abschiedsgruß

Album audio & artwork 

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.