"Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy" by...Woody Allen?

This is an open challenge to the comedy geek-iverse. Can any comedy collector confirm this is what I think it is? I don't know where I got these files. They seem to have appeared on my hard drive as WAV files in November 2001. They are labeled - and sound very much like - Woody Allen singing two novelty songs, "Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy". They sound like they were digitized from vinyl; but when I Google the phrase "Chicken of the Surf", disconcertingly, there are NO HITS - suggesting not only that nowhere on the internet has anyone associated Woody Allen with the recording of a song by that name, but also that nowhere on the internet has anyone noticed A SONG OF THAT NAME, period.

Anyway, it sounds very much like Woody Allen's voice, and it's mildly enjoyable, so there you go. If indeed it's Allen, I guess the year of release would be between 1964-1967. If you've got this, say so in the comments!

Chicken of the Surf
Lonesome Cowboy

Orson Welles: The Begatting of the President

The Ascendancy of Richard Nixon: The King James version. This dead-on, Old Testament-mythological satire was written by Myron Roberts, Lincoln Haynes, and Sasha Gilien and performed by Welles in 1969 at a time when Nixon had only been in office for 100 days, so it only deals with the run-up to his reign...pity they didn't do a sequel in 1975. Play this album in a double-header with National Lampoon's Missing White House Tapes (or Robert Altman's Secret Honor) and get ready for a wing-ding of a drunken night at home, beating your head against the wall.

L.B. Jenesis
The Defoliation of Eden
Burn, Pharaoh, Burn
The Coming of Richard
The Pacification of Goliath
Paradise Bossed
The Raising of Richard
The Book of Hubert
The Ascension

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records Vol. 2

The sequel! More novelty schmovelties, including an unreleased Credibility Gap cut, a tape-trading classic courtesy of the Troggs, and a toxic speak-n-sing right-wing diatribe about a country named Sam who used to be a sweet little lady but became a FILTHY WHORE (and died, a suicide, in Autumn 1991...um, what?) I'm going to invoke Komar, Melamid, and Soldier of "The People's Choice" fame, and assert that fewer than 200 individuals in the world will like all of these songs.

Mrs. Miller "Downtown"
Mickey Katz "K'nish Doctor"
Barnes & Barnes "Party in My Pants"
The Credibility Gap "Foreign Novelty Smash"
The Halos "The Nag"
Yogi Yorgesson "Who Hid the Halibut on the Poop Deck"
Shad O'Shea "Goodbye Sam"
Bob & Zip "Just a Big Ego"
Sticky Fingers "Candy Rapper"
Debbie Dawn "Hands"
Rockin' Richie Ray "Baseball Card Lover"
Little Roger & The Goosebumps "Fudd on the Hill"
Napoleon XIV "Split Level Head"
Killer Pussy "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage"
The Troggs "The Troggs Tape"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records

Foos Rhino and Bronson Rhino of Westwood present a scintillating selection of ticklish treats for your ears, plus a feather for your throat. Like the Incredibly Strange Music compilations of the 1990s, this 1983 Various Artists mix runs the gamut: there's personality-driven offal ("The Crusher"), novelty tunes that went a couple of indecorous steps over the line ("I Want My Baby Back", "Kinko the Clown"), new offerings from the Rhino musical family ("Kazooed on Klassics", "Boogie Woogie Amputee"), pop trend-hoppers that missed the boat ("Surfin' Tragedy"), novelty tunes from industry pros who'd rather stay anonymous ("I Wanna Be Your Dog"), popular acts taking the day off from trying hard ("Umbassa and the Dragon"), and an unknown act trying REALLY hard ("Fluffy", which is so epically wrong it simply beggars belief - it is truly awesome).

The Novas "The Crusher"
Edith Massey "Big Girls Don't Cry"
Jimmy Cross "I Want My Baby Back"
Heathen Dan "I Like"
The Temple City Kazoo Orchestra "Kazooed on Klassics"
Gloria Balsam "Fluffy"
The Ledendary Stardust Cowboy "Paralyzed"
The Seven Stooges "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
Barnes & Barnes "Boogie Woogie Amputee"
Ogden Edsl "Kinko the Clown"
The Turtles "Umbassa and the Dragon"
Johnny Meeskite "Ugly"
The Breakers "Surfin' Tragedy"
Wild Man Fischer "Young at Heart"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Zom Zoms

The Zom Zoms were an Austin, Texas band active from 2003-2006, and now they are no more. Here's their 7-song EP from 2005. In their frantic drum machine-guitar-synth New Wave attack, they manage to evoke both DEVO and the Polysics (I think "Love Story" is sung in Japanese...I THINK).

Entertainers from Out of Town

Love Story

Race of Zom Zoms

EEEEEEOOOOO

Caught on Tape

Cigarette

Pizzarama Universe

EP audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Faillace Productions: You Can Be Sure...If It's Westinghouse

Faillace Productions (Tony Faillace, Len MacKenzie, and Bob Haggart) were a jingle production house in New York, active during at least the years 1959-1964, with clients including Borden's, Chesterfield, Chevrolet, Conoco, Crest, Ivory Soap, Johnson's Wax, Lone Star Beer, Maxwell House, Nabisco, Nucoa Margarine, Post Toasties, Sara Lee, Schick, Studebaker, and Texaco. Here's the ten swingin' cuts off their record of jingles for Westinghouse. Man, if you're in the comedy industry and you don't have a copy of this handy when Westinghouse goes belly-up, you're JUST NOT A PRO. Buy Westinghouse and Be Sure!™


Use as opening or close
Use as opening
Use as close
Shuffle version
Latin version
March version
60 sec. commercial “You Can Be Sure”
Jazz instrumental
Dance instrumental
Dixie instrumental

Record audio & artwork

David Thomas & The Wooden Birds: Blame the Messenger

One of Dave Thomas’ kajillion art rock side projects outside of Pere Ubu, the Wooden Birds featured Thomas and four sympathetic sidemen: Allen Ravenstine on some crunchy vintage EML synthesizers, Tony Maimone (later with They Might Be Giants) on bass, plus drummer Chris Cutler and guitarist Jim Jones. This 1987 album on Twin Tone / Rough Trade was the group’s second of two LPs, following their 1986 debut Monster Walks the Winter Lake. Lyrically, it’s like a library book pulled at random from the shelf; it’s a variety of mood pieces and meditations, with the title track being a celebration of good friends and good times sung from the point of view of a flock of birds. This was one of my first Goldmine purchases from the 1990s (when, in terms of used music, that magazine WAS the world wide web), which I bought because I’d been looking for its closing song: “The Velikovsky Two-Step”, a brutally hilarious takedown of the notorious author of Worlds in Collision (“Fish leap outa the fossil record / Fully formed and happy to be here!”) Steven Wright picked up on its bright uptempo absurdity and used it as the closing-credits song for his Oscar-winning short film The Appointments of Dennis Jennings in 1988.

My Town

A Fact About Trains

King Knüt

When Love Is Uneven

The Storm Breaks

The Long Rain

Having Time

Friends of Stone

The Velikovsky Two-Step

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Jim Fassett: Strange To Your Ears

Musique concrete experiments from 1953, narrated by Jim Fassett, musical director for CBS Radio and the intermission announcer for the New York Philharmonic. Did you know you could record something - and then SPEED IT UP or SLOW IT DOWN - and make it sound WACKY??!! Well, the greater American public needed to know at some point, if only to prepare them for the tape edit adventures they'd hear in pop music in the decades to come, so points to Fassett for getting his brainwave when he did. And as we now know, the crying-baby-played-back-at-half-speed meme never loses its ability to turn heads, so kudos to Fassett for being one of the first to stumble on it. Fassett is especially enamored with de-tuning birdsongs and punching out the long tones in order to program new melodies and harmonies, which he explored in greater detail on his 1960 LP Symphony of the Birds, which you can find today on CD.

Side 1
Side 2 (track 1)
Side 2 (track 2)

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Stevens & Grdnic: Retail Comedy at Wholesale Prices

Stevens & Grdnic's second album from 1982. This is the album that introduced me to the duo. From 1990-1993 I co-hosted a show called "Doo Doo Radio" on free-format KUOI-FM Moscow 89.3, and we gave a lot of spins to such Dr. Demento-approved classics as "Snotty Susie", "Sugarludes", "Fastfood", "Rope on a Stick" and "Country Tearjerkers".

Journey to the Center of the Album
The Phone Company
Wriglers
(untitled)
Sugarludes
Gloria Peterbilt
(untitled)
Fastfood
Country Tearjerkers
Soup Opera
It's Only a Song
Rope on a Stick
Farrah Beer
Love Destroyer
Patrol Boys
Dermadrug
Ugly Men's Clothing (part 1)
Ugly Men's Clothing (part 2)
Dogball
(untitled)
Fidomeal
Snotty Susie
Turning Conservative
Mr. Wizard and Timmy
The Great Midwest
Exercise Till You Die
Last Laugh

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Stevens & Grdnic: Somewhere Over the Radio

Ron Stevens & Joy Grdnic were rock DJs from 1971-1979 on St. Louis' KSHE-FM 94.7, Joy a morning host, Stevens an afternoon jock. They eventually married and in 1979 moved to California, where they recorded their first album for Takoma Records. They did morning-show host stints for stations in New York and San Diego, and were contributing writers for WKRP in Cincinnati. Throughout the '80s and into the '90s their Stevens & Grdnic Radio Network comedy bits were syndicated on open reel to stations all across the U.S. Lots of the material sticks to the wacky-radio milieu of fake ads, song parodies, and bizarre interviews, but more than three decades on it's still pretty hilarious.

Tuning In
Bogus Concerts
Ron Pentecost
Rock & Roll Toy
No Parking
Today's Weather
Speed Reading
Token Jazz Hour
Steve McNab
Bend Over Beethoven
(untitled link)
Jesse Jeff Westchester
Dermadrug
Hiwater Pants
Elevator 1980
Do It
Unisex Stereo
Miss Information (Part 1)
Joe Brackne
Miss Information (Part 2)
Fun & Fresh
Miss Information (Part 3)
Marijuana Helper
Herman
Massage Parlor
Rocko Products
We're Really Gonna Make It This Time
Disco Record Offer
Tuning Out

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Minga & Eye: Eye Love Minga

Minga, a two-year-old, improvised side A in 1993 while sitting in front of a keyboard and microphone. Eye (of Boredoms) recorded side B in 1995 as a tribute. Pure artistic expression is best followed by nap time! Two charming, short ambient adventures.

Minga side
Eye side

10" audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

U.S. Arm Band: Seasons Greetings

Jim Maxwell, aka U.S. Arm Band, performs impressive fart versions of two holiday classics. If for some reason your holiday season was still going here in mid-January, this shall bring it swiftly to a close.

This was probably released in 1969, as Dr. Internet shows that Maxwell appeared on The Real Don Steele's Boss City show on KHJ-TV channel 9 on Dec. 20, 1969.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Jingle Bells

7-inch audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Tunnel Vision

From the collection of Phil Proctor comes this 1976 tie-in single from the doomed sketch comedy movie Tunnel Vision. Side 1 is a collage of bits from the film, and side two is the theme song. Michael Mislove & Neal Israel wrote the comedy material; Dennis Lambert & Brian Potter wrote the music.

Tunnel Vision
Theme Song - Tunnel Vision

7-inch audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Þeyr: As Above...

Rock in Reykjavik was on YouTube for just a second last year, and one of the highlights for me was Þeyr (that's a thorn in front, pronounced "Theyr") performing "Killer Boogie". Here is the new wave outfit's second LP, recorded in Icelandic as the album Mjötviður Mær on the Eskvímó label in 1981, here performed in English as As Above... for the English label Shout in 1982.

Homo Gestalt

Killer Boogie

Dead/Undead

Wolf

Technologos

Poème

Current

Rúdolf

Are You Still There?

Enough

Shout

Mjötviður

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.