Monday, January 19, 2015

"Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy" by...Woody Allen?

This is an open challenge to the comedy geek-iverse. Can any comedy collector confirm this is what I think it is? I don't know where I got these files. They seem to have appeared on my hard drive as WAV files in November 2001. They are labeled - and sound very much like - Woody Allen singing two novelty songs, "Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy". They sound like they were digitized from vinyl; but when I Google the phrase "Chicken of the Surf", disconcertingly, there are NO HITS - suggesting not only that nowhere on the internet has anyone associated Woody Allen with the recording of a song by that name, but also that nowhere on the internet has anyone noticed A SONG OF THAT NAME, period.

Anyway, it sounds very much like Woody Allen's voice, and it's mildly enjoyable, so there you go. If indeed it's Allen, I guess the year of release would be between 1964-1967. If you've got this, say so in the comments!

Chicken of the Surf
Lonesome Cowboy

Orson Welles: The Begatting of the President

The Ascendancy of Richard Nixon: The King James version. This dead-on, Old Testament-mythological satire was written by Myron Roberts, Lincoln Haynes, and Sasha Gilien and performed by Welles in 1969 at a time when Nixon had only been in office for 100 days, so it only deals with the run-up to his reign...pity they didn't do a sequel in 1975. Play this album in a double-header with National Lampoon's Missing White House Tapes (or Robert Altman's Secret Honor) and get ready for a wing-ding of a drunken night at home, beating your head against the wall.

L.B. Jenesis
The Defoliation of Eden
Burn, Pharaoh, Burn
The Coming of Richard
The Pacification of Goliath
Paradise Bossed
The Raising of Richard
The Book of Hubert
The Ascension

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records Vol. 2

The sequel! More novelty schmovelties, including an unreleased Credibility Gap cut, a tape-trading classic courtesy of the Troggs, and a toxic speak-n-sing right-wing diatribe about a country named Sam who used to be a sweet little lady but became a FILTHY WHORE (and died, a suicide, in Autumn 1991...um, what?) I'm going to invoke Komar, Melamid, and Soldier of "The People's Choice" fame, and assert that fewer than 200 individuals in the world will like all of these songs.

Mrs. Miller "Downtown"
Mickey Katz "K'nish Doctor"
Barnes & Barnes "Party in My Pants"
The Credibility Gap "Foreign Novelty Smash"
The Halos "The Nag"
Yogi Yorgesson "Who Hid the Halibut on the Poop Deck"
Shad O'Shea "Goodbye Sam"
Bob & Zip "Just a Big Ego"
Sticky Fingers "Candy Rapper"
Debbie Dawn "Hands"
Rockin' Richie Ray "Baseball Card Lover"
Little Roger & The Goosebumps "Fudd on the Hill"
Napoleon XIV "Split Level Head"
Killer Pussy "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage"
The Troggs "The Troggs Tape"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records

Foos Rhino and Bronson Rhino of Westwood present a scintillating selection of ticklish treats for your ears, plus a feather for your throat. Like the Incredibly Strange Music compilations of the 1990s, this 1983 Various Artists mix runs the gamut: there's personality-driven offal ("The Crusher"), novelty tunes that went a couple of indecorous steps over the line ("I Want My Baby Back", "Kinko the Clown"), new offerings from the Rhino musical family ("Kazooed on Klassics", "Boogie Woogie Amputee"), pop trend-hoppers that missed the boat ("Surfin' Tragedy"), novelty tunes from industry pros who'd rather stay anonymous ("I Wanna Be Your Dog"), popular acts taking the day off from trying hard ("Umbassa and the Dragon"), and an unknown act trying REALLY hard ("Fluffy", which is so epically wrong it simply beggars belief - it is truly awesome).

The Novas "The Crusher"
Edith Massey "Big Girls Don't Cry"
Jimmy Cross "I Want My Baby Back"
Heathen Dan "I Like"
The Temple City Kazoo Orchestra "Kazooed on Klassics"
Gloria Balsam "Fluffy"
The Ledendary Stardust Cowboy "Paralyzed"
The Seven Stooges "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
Barnes & Barnes "Boogie Woogie Amputee"
Ogden Edsl "Kinko the Clown"
The Turtles "Umbassa and the Dragon"
Johnny Meeskite "Ugly"
The Breakers "Surfin' Tragedy"
Wild Man Fischer "Young at Heart"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Zom Zoms

The Zom Zoms were an Austin, Texas band active from 2003-2006, and now they are no more. Here's their 7-song EP from 2005. In their frantic drum machine-guitar-synth New Wave attack, they manage to evoke both DEVO and the Polysics (I think "Love Story" is sung in Japanese...I THINK).

Entertainers from Out of Town
Love Story
Race of Zom Zoms
EEEEEEOOOOO
Caught on Tape
Cigarette
Pizzarama Universe

EP audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Faillace Productions: You Can Be Sure...If It's Westinghouse

Faillace Productions (Tony Faillace, Len MacKenzie, and Bob Haggart) were a jingle production house in New York, active during at least the years 1959-1964, with clients including Borden's, Chesterfield, Chevrolet, Conoco, Crest, Ivory Soap, Johnson's Wax, Lone Star Beer, Maxwell House, Nabisco, Nucoa Margarine, Post Toasties, Sara Lee, Schick, Studebaker, and Texaco. Here's the ten swingin' cuts off their record of jingles for Westinghouse. Man, if you're in the comedy industry and you don't have a copy of this handy when Westinghouse goes belly-up, you're JUST NOT A PRO. Buy Westinghouse and Be Sure!™


Use as opening or close
Use as opening
Use as close
Shuffle version
Latin version
March version
60 sec. commercial “You Can Be Sure”
Jazz instrumental
Dance instrumental
Dixie instrumental

Record audio & artwork

David Thomas & The Wooden Birds: Blame the Messenger

One of Dave Thomas’ kajillion art rock side projects outside of Pere Ubu, the Wooden Birds featured Thomas and four sympathetic sidemen: Allen Ravenstine on some crunchy vintage EML synthesizers, Tony Maimone (later with They Might Be Giants) on bass, plus drummer Chris Cutler and guitarist Jim Jones. This 1987 album on Twin Tone / Rough Trade was the group’s second of two LPs, following their 1986 debut Monster Walks the Winter Lake. Lyrically, it’s like a library book pulled at random from the shelf; it’s a variety of mood pieces and meditations, with the title track being a celebration of good friends and good times sung from the point of view of a flock of birds. This was one of my first Goldmine purchases from the 1990s (when, in terms of used music, that magazine WAS the world wide web), which I bought because I’d been looking for its closing song: “The Velikovsky Two-Step”, a brutally hilarious takedown of the notorious author of Worlds in Collision (“Fish leap outa the fossil record / Fully formed and happy to be here!”) Steven Wright picked up on its bright uptempo absurdity and used it as the closing-credits song for his Oscar-winning short film The Appointments of Dennis Jennings in 1988.

My Town
A Fact About Trains
King Knüt
When Love Is Uneven
The Storm Breaks
The Long Rain
Having Time
Friends of Stone
The Velikovsky Two-Step


DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.