Sunday, February 15, 2015

Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre: Greetings From Duck's Breath

1985 cassette compilation of some of their radio work. They had at least two more (now very scarce) cassette releases in the 1980s - I'll post them too if I can ever find them.

Ian Shoales: Around the World in 80 Seconds
Mickey Bank 
Ask Dr. Science: Origin of Pretzels
The Ford Years: A Miniseries
National Acting Leson
Stump the Stallion
Ian Shoales: Zen Bloopers
Life Unearthed: Poisonous Skunkupines
Success with Michael Cordon: Beepers
Dale Blisterproof on Hard Work and Persistence
Ask Dr. Science: Four-color Pens
Coming Up This Week
Ski Police
Dangerous Nation
Randee of the Redwoods: Giant Spoons
We Both Read It: The Big Book
Stump the Stallion: Number One Fan
Ask Dr. Science: World’s Biggest Bird
Rambo Meets Dumbo
Taxman
Ian Shoales: Record Ratings
Jerry & Charlie
Sensitive Male Hotline: Women and Emotions
Mr. Fidget Goes Christmas Shopping
Baby Boomers!
Sleepy Bear Minute Mystery: Case of the Missing Tool Box
Ask Dr. Science: Boneles Chickens
The Ponderosa Spies
Ian Shoales: Bulk Rate
eMpty TV
Divorced Men’s Diner
Ian Shoales: Our Nude Madonna


DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Ian Shoales: I Gotta Go

Not to be confused with the excellent 1997 CD of the same name on Henry Rollins' 2 13 61 Records, this is the 1985 cassette compilation from Newman Communications.

New Wave Manifesto
History of Comedy
Single in the ’80s
Nostalgia
The New Survivors
Generic Letter to the Editor
Herpes and the Time Magazine Empire
Hobbies
Hearts on Bumperstickers
What I Like
White Lies
The Big Chill Generation
What Bugs Me
Fast Food & Politeness
Reggae and Our Culture
Temp Work
Commencement Address
Russia & the Cold War
Grand Illusions
Weddings

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Dr. Science: I Know More Than You Do!

He has a MASTERS degree!

Dr. Science’s Prologue
Insects’ Last Thoughts / Sound in a Vacuum / Imaginary Numbers
Origins of Silicon Valley / Jet Packs / Sperm Banks
Women & Three Stooges / Quasimodo Effect / Colored States
The Dr. Science Pledge
Ground Water / Disintegrating Languages / Ms. Dos Boots
Dubbed Movies / Dividing by Zero / Sticky Tongues
Software Bugs / Smart Bombs / American Studies Degree
Dr. Science Theme Strike / History of Braces / The Training Bra
The Enquiring Mind
Rap Music / Liquid Paper / Guff
Barking Spiders / Human Habitats / Longitude & Latitude
The Kidnapping of Dr. Science
My Tesla Era
Stuffed Animals / Faxing Yourself / October Surprise
Eight Track Tapes / Porcupine Mating / Curiosity & The Cat
Speed of Light / Escalators & Reptiles / Those Pesky Magazine Cards
Your New Hard Drive
Pins on the Heads of Angels / Germ Movement / Doggie Heaven
Spare Dr. Science / Cold Mayo Fusion / Our National Anthem
2001: A Dr. Science Odyssey / Three Way Lightbulbs / Petrified Forests
Smartest Person in the Whole World / Lowest Form of Life / Obsessed with Dr. Science
Secular Humanism / Sleeping Tongues & Leisure
A Call for Attention Spans
Dr. Science & The Sea Monkeys from Hell: A Radio Adventure

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

William Malloch & R.C. Raach: The Stars and Stripes and You

As the short blurb on the cover indicates, the material heard on this 1971 private press album was gathered by Richard Raack, a history professor at California State College Hayward, and it was collaged by William Malloch, then a radio producer at KPFK-FM in Los Angeles. It’s an Over The Edge-style documentary piece about the United States’ involvement in the Great War, 1917-1918, and it’s based on the second hour of a two-hour radio program all about the war called “The Magnificent Nonsense”. All the texts heard on the record are speeches, poetry, newsreels, and literature contemporaneous to the period, either actuality audio or new recordings performed by actors that Malloch knew. Firesign Theatre fans will recognize the voices of David Ossman, Phil Austin, and Annalee Austin among the readers.

In technical terms, this isn’t the most sophisticated thing out there, not even for 1971 – but this is still a really good standalone work. It’s acidly funny and moving at the same time. I’d not heard most of this found material before now, and it’s a creepy peek into the id of a country at a time when it was basically owned and operated by a lot of really friendly white supremacists.

These sound artifacts still feel contemporary a century later because they’re another sad reminder of how we think we know the world, but really most of us only know it by what we’ve seen and heard through the media; and when a country is getting ready to go to war, everything – EVERYTHING – that the media feeds us about that war is a myth propagated by people who will not be fighting in it. The Great War is one of the big turning points in the history of the human race, something everyone’s going to be thinking more about in the next four years as we approach the centenary of WWI and our involvement in it.

  1. Dies Irae; Star-Spangled Banner; We Take Our Hats Off To You, Mr. Wilson; Meester Veelson; I Didn’t Raise My Boy To Be A Soldier; Poem of a Canadian Pacifist
  2. Let’s Bury the Hatchet in the Kaiser’s Head; America, Here’s My Boy; A Mother’s Answer to a Pacifist; When We Wind Up the Watch on the Rhine; Kaisermarsch; 501,000 lamp-posts
  3. Don’t Bite The Hand That’s Feeding You; America, I Love You; Our Country’s In It Now; For Your Country and My Country; No animal that bites and kicks and squeals
  4. How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em Down on the Farm; Your Old Uncle Sam Is Fighting for Liberty; Johnny Get Your Gun; It’s a Long Way to Berlin; Indianola; The Colored Recruit; Your Lips Are No Man’s Land But Mine
  5. Submarine Attack; The Yanks Are At It Again; We’ll Knock the Heligo Into Heligo Out Of Heligoland; Singing Soldiers; Tell That to the Marines; The Americans Come
  6. Arrival of American troops in France; Battle in the air; The Singing Soldier
  7. William Jennings Bryan and Henry Ford
  8. A Victory Ball; Everything you hold worthwhile is at stake; Labor’s war; The Fundamental trouble with civilization; His father’s God; Force to the utmost; At war with the devil; Hindenberg’s brutality; Bonds Buy Bullets
  9. I May Be Gone for a Long Long Time; A Mother’s Answer to a Pacifist; Over There; The Singing Soldier; The man who swallowed the spoon; Are We Downhearted?; Five shots a penny; He can’t stir; Hanging on the old barbed wire; The Last Zeppelin
  10. Hostilities will cease; Der Kaiser hat abgedankt; Everything for the people; The Word American has a new meaning
  11. The body of an American; The impressive spectacle of thousands of dead; Dead Man; 100,000 sorrows; High Wood; Here Dead We Lie


Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Monday, January 19, 2015

"Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy" by...Woody Allen?

This is an open challenge to the comedy geek-iverse. Can any comedy collector confirm this is what I think it is? I don't know where I got these files. They seem to have appeared on my hard drive as WAV files in November 2001. They are labeled - and sound very much like - Woody Allen singing two novelty songs, "Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy". They sound like they were digitized from vinyl; but when I Google the phrase "Chicken of the Surf", disconcertingly, there are NO HITS - suggesting not only that nowhere on the internet has anyone associated Woody Allen with the recording of a song by that name, but also that nowhere on the internet has anyone noticed A SONG OF THAT NAME, period.

Anyway, it sounds very much like Woody Allen's voice, and it's mildly enjoyable, so there you go. If indeed it's Allen, I guess the year of release would be between 1964-1967. If you've got this, say so in the comments!

Chicken of the Surf
Lonesome Cowboy

Orson Welles: The Begatting of the President

The Ascendancy of Richard Nixon: The King James version. This dead-on, Old Testament-mythological satire was written by Myron Roberts, Lincoln Haynes, and Sasha Gilien and performed by Welles in 1969 at a time when Nixon had only been in office for 100 days, so it only deals with the run-up to his reign...pity they didn't do a sequel in 1975. Play this album in a double-header with National Lampoon's Missing White House Tapes (or Robert Altman's Secret Honor) and get ready for a wing-ding of a drunken night at home, beating your head against the wall.

L.B. Jenesis
The Defoliation of Eden
Burn, Pharaoh, Burn
The Coming of Richard
The Pacification of Goliath
Paradise Bossed
The Raising of Richard
The Book of Hubert
The Ascension

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records Vol. 2

The sequel! More novelty schmovelties, including an unreleased Credibility Gap cut, a tape-trading classic courtesy of the Troggs, and a toxic speak-n-sing right-wing diatribe about a country named Sam who used to be a sweet little lady but became a FILTHY WHORE (and died, a suicide, in Autumn 1991...um, what?) I'm going to invoke Komar, Melamid, and Soldier of "The People's Choice" fame, and assert that fewer than 200 individuals in the world will like all of these songs.

Mrs. Miller "Downtown"
Mickey Katz "K'nish Doctor"
Barnes & Barnes "Party in My Pants"
The Credibility Gap "Foreign Novelty Smash"
The Halos "The Nag"
Yogi Yorgesson "Who Hid the Halibut on the Poop Deck"
Shad O'Shea "Goodbye Sam"
Bob & Zip "Just a Big Ego"
Sticky Fingers "Candy Rapper"
Debbie Dawn "Hands"
Rockin' Richie Ray "Baseball Card Lover"
Little Roger & The Goosebumps "Fudd on the Hill"
Napoleon XIV "Split Level Head"
Killer Pussy "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage"
The Troggs "The Troggs Tape"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.