Saturday, February 7, 2015

William Malloch & R.C. Raach: The Stars and Stripes and You

As the short blurb on the cover indicates, the material heard on this 1971 private press album was gathered by Richard Raack, a history professor at California State College Hayward, and it was collaged by William Malloch, then a radio producer at KPFK-FM in Los Angeles. It’s an Over The Edge-style documentary piece about the United States’ involvement in the Great War, 1917-1918, and it’s based on the second hour of a two-hour radio program all about the war called “The Magnificent Nonsense”. All the texts heard on the record are speeches, poetry, newsreels, and literature contemporaneous to the period, either actuality audio or new recordings performed by actors that Malloch knew. Firesign Theatre fans will recognize the voices of David Ossman, Phil Austin, and Annalee Austin among the readers.

In technical terms, this isn’t the most sophisticated thing out there, not even for 1971 – but this is still a really good standalone work. It’s acidly funny and moving at the same time. I’d not heard most of this found material before now, and it’s a creepy peek into the id of a country at a time when it was basically owned and operated by a lot of really friendly white supremacists.

These sound artifacts still feel contemporary a century later because they’re another sad reminder of how we think we know the world, but really most of us only know it by what we’ve seen and heard through the media; and when a country is getting ready to go to war, everything – EVERYTHING – that the media feeds us about that war is a myth propagated by people who will not be fighting in it. The Great War is one of the big turning points in the history of the human race, something everyone’s going to be thinking more about in the next four years as we approach the centenary of WWI and our involvement in it.

  1. Dies Irae; Star-Spangled Banner; We Take Our Hats Off To You, Mr. Wilson; Meester Veelson; I Didn’t Raise My Boy To Be A Soldier; Poem of a Canadian Pacifist
  2. Let’s Bury the Hatchet in the Kaiser’s Head; America, Here’s My Boy; A Mother’s Answer to a Pacifist; When We Wind Up the Watch on the Rhine; Kaisermarsch; 501,000 lamp-posts
  3. Don’t Bite The Hand That’s Feeding You; America, I Love You; Our Country’s In It Now; For Your Country and My Country; No animal that bites and kicks and squeals
  4. How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em Down on the Farm; Your Old Uncle Sam Is Fighting for Liberty; Johnny Get Your Gun; It’s a Long Way to Berlin; Indianola; The Colored Recruit; Your Lips Are No Man’s Land But Mine
  5. Submarine Attack; The Yanks Are At It Again; We’ll Knock the Heligo Into Heligo Out Of Heligoland; Singing Soldiers; Tell That to the Marines; The Americans Come
  6. Arrival of American troops in France; Battle in the air; The Singing Soldier
  7. William Jennings Bryan and Henry Ford
  8. A Victory Ball; Everything you hold worthwhile is at stake; Labor’s war; The Fundamental trouble with civilization; His father’s God; Force to the utmost; At war with the devil; Hindenberg’s brutality; Bonds Buy Bullets
  9. I May Be Gone for a Long Long Time; A Mother’s Answer to a Pacifist; Over There; The Singing Soldier; The man who swallowed the spoon; Are We Downhearted?; Five shots a penny; He can’t stir; Hanging on the old barbed wire; The Last Zeppelin
  10. Hostilities will cease; Der Kaiser hat abgedankt; Everything for the people; The Word American has a new meaning
  11. The body of an American; The impressive spectacle of thousands of dead; Dead Man; 100,000 sorrows; High Wood; Here Dead We Lie


Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Monday, January 19, 2015

"Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy" by...Woody Allen?

This is an open challenge to the comedy geek-iverse. Can any comedy collector confirm this is what I think it is? I don't know where I got these files. They seem to have appeared on my hard drive as WAV files in November 2001. They are labeled - and sound very much like - Woody Allen singing two novelty songs, "Chicken of the Surf" and "Lonesome Cowboy". They sound like they were digitized from vinyl; but when I Google the phrase "Chicken of the Surf", disconcertingly, there are NO HITS - suggesting not only that nowhere on the internet has anyone associated Woody Allen with the recording of a song by that name, but also that nowhere on the internet has anyone noticed A SONG OF THAT NAME, period.

Anyway, it sounds very much like Woody Allen's voice, and it's mildly enjoyable, so there you go. If indeed it's Allen, I guess the year of release would be between 1964-1967. If you've got this, say so in the comments!

Chicken of the Surf
Lonesome Cowboy

Orson Welles: The Begatting of the President

The Ascendancy of Richard Nixon: The King James version. This dead-on, Old Testament-mythological satire was written by Myron Roberts, Lincoln Haynes, and Sasha Gilien and performed by Welles in 1969 at a time when Nixon had only been in office for 100 days, so it only deals with the run-up to his reign...pity they didn't do a sequel in 1975. Play this album in a double-header with National Lampoon's Missing White House Tapes (or Robert Altman's Secret Honor) and get ready for a wing-ding of a drunken night at home, beating your head against the wall.

L.B. Jenesis
The Defoliation of Eden
Burn, Pharaoh, Burn
The Coming of Richard
The Pacification of Goliath
Paradise Bossed
The Raising of Richard
The Book of Hubert
The Ascension

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records Vol. 2

The sequel! More novelty schmovelties, including an unreleased Credibility Gap cut, a tape-trading classic courtesy of the Troggs, and a toxic speak-n-sing right-wing diatribe about a country named Sam who used to be a sweet little lady but became a FILTHY WHORE (and died, a suicide, in Autumn 1991...um, what?) I'm going to invoke Komar, Melamid, and Soldier of "The People's Choice" fame, and assert that fewer than 200 individuals in the world will like all of these songs.

Mrs. Miller "Downtown"
Mickey Katz "K'nish Doctor"
Barnes & Barnes "Party in My Pants"
The Credibility Gap "Foreign Novelty Smash"
The Halos "The Nag"
Yogi Yorgesson "Who Hid the Halibut on the Poop Deck"
Shad O'Shea "Goodbye Sam"
Bob & Zip "Just a Big Ego"
Sticky Fingers "Candy Rapper"
Debbie Dawn "Hands"
Rockin' Richie Ray "Baseball Card Lover"
Little Roger & The Goosebumps "Fudd on the Hill"
Napoleon XIV "Split Level Head"
Killer Pussy "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage"
The Troggs "The Troggs Tape"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

The Rhino Brothers Present The World's Worst Records

Foos Rhino and Bronson Rhino of Westwood present a scintillating selection of ticklish treats for your ears, plus a feather for your throat. Like the Incredibly Strange Music compilations of the 1990s, this 1983 Various Artists mix runs the gamut: there's personality-driven offal ("The Crusher"), novelty tunes that went a couple of indecorous steps over the line ("I Want My Baby Back", "Kinko the Clown"), new offerings from the Rhino musical family ("Kazooed on Klassics", "Boogie Woogie Amputee"), pop trend-hoppers that missed the boat ("Surfin' Tragedy"), novelty tunes from industry pros who'd rather stay anonymous ("I Wanna Be Your Dog"), popular acts taking the day off from trying hard ("Umbassa and the Dragon"), and an unknown act trying REALLY hard ("Fluffy", which is so epically wrong it simply beggars belief - it is truly awesome).

The Novas "The Crusher"
Edith Massey "Big Girls Don't Cry"
Jimmy Cross "I Want My Baby Back"
Heathen Dan "I Like"
The Temple City Kazoo Orchestra "Kazooed on Klassics"
Gloria Balsam "Fluffy"
The Ledendary Stardust Cowboy "Paralyzed"
The Seven Stooges "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
Barnes & Barnes "Boogie Woogie Amputee"
Ogden Edsl "Kinko the Clown"
The Turtles "Umbassa and the Dragon"
Johnny Meeskite "Ugly"
The Breakers "Surfin' Tragedy"
Wild Man Fischer "Young at Heart"

Album audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Zom Zoms

The Zom Zoms were an Austin, Texas band active from 2003-2006, and now they are no more. Here's their 7-song EP from 2005. In their frantic drum machine-guitar-synth New Wave attack, they manage to evoke both DEVO and the Polysics (I think "Love Story" is sung in Japanese...I THINK).

Entertainers from Out of Town
Love Story
Race of Zom Zoms
EEEEEEOOOOO
Caught on Tape
Cigarette
Pizzarama Universe

EP audio & artwork

DISCLAIMER: To the best of my knowledge, this work is out of print and not available for purchase in any format. If you are the artist and are planning a reissue, please let me know and I’ll remove it from the blog. Also please get in touch if you’ve lost your art &/or sound masters and would like to talk with me about my restoration work.

Faillace Productions: You Can Be Sure...If It's Westinghouse

Faillace Productions (Tony Faillace, Len MacKenzie, and Bob Haggart) were a jingle production house in New York, active during at least the years 1959-1964, with clients including Borden's, Chesterfield, Chevrolet, Conoco, Crest, Ivory Soap, Johnson's Wax, Lone Star Beer, Maxwell House, Nabisco, Nucoa Margarine, Post Toasties, Sara Lee, Schick, Studebaker, and Texaco. Here's the ten swingin' cuts off their record of jingles for Westinghouse. Man, if you're in the comedy industry and you don't have a copy of this handy when Westinghouse goes belly-up, you're JUST NOT A PRO. Buy Westinghouse and Be Sure!™


Use as opening or close
Use as opening
Use as close
Shuffle version
Latin version
March version
60 sec. commercial “You Can Be Sure”
Jazz instrumental
Dance instrumental
Dixie instrumental

Record audio & artwork